Carol’s Blog

My Struggles

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A while back I had become disillusioned and struggling with my faith. Although I prayed a good deal, I didn’t seem to find contentment. Then after reading through a number of meditations and Christian books, I realised I had too much ‘I’ in my life. ‘I’ was trying to be more holy, ‘I’ was trying to make my own decisions, ‘I’ was trying to witness to others; I knew I had to turn my life round completely. It was not my trying that mattered, everything needed to be turned over to God. It wasn’t my struggling that mattered, it was allowing God to have His own way in my life. He would allow things to happen according to His will and not to mine. Holiness would come from Him and not from me. Witness to others about God’s love would be of no use on my own. God knows how and when each person will come to Him. He alone would know if He would graciously use me. How arrogant I had been to think I was the centre of the universe. My every thought and action needed to be given over to Him.

‘I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.’ 1 Corinthians 10:33

A Built-in Best Friend

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Two of our teenagers were being baptised; the church was full to overflowing (at least three extra rows of chairs were added.) Relatives of the two girls came from as far away as Bristol and America. It was a lovely service with the two youngsters giving a good report of their faith, before the actual ceremony of baptising them. There was plenty of clapping and cheering. A visitor to the church would have known we were very happy about it, as these girls had been nurtured by their families and various sections of the youth work for a number of years. We all felt we had a small part in them being where they were on that Sunday.

What stood out for me was the remark of by one of the girls. As adults we use many words and descriptions to explain the closeness of God. ‘only a breath away’, ‘a constant being with us.’ ‘closer than a brother.’ But one young lady put it so succinctly ‘God is like having a built-in best friend.’ We couldn’t have put it better!

Hebrews 12:1

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Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’ Hebrews 12:1

We don’t have to run this Christian race on our own. For the last two thousand of years there have been many, many Christians and martyrs who have set us an example. Reading about past missionaries is not as popular as it once was, but still their lives are remarkable. They went through many troubles and difficulties, often remaining on the mission field until the end of their days.

It isn’t only to the past that we have to turn. Many Christians in many lands are an example to us today. There are still nations which have not been reached, others have heard the gospel but the persecution is very high. Some countries are trying to eradicate Christianity from their country all together. If they knew how strong our God is, they would realise He is unbeatable.

So we must stop making excuses and tell all we can about the love and salvation of our God. Sin can entangle us, we can run out of enthusiasm. The need to evangelise is as great as it has ever been.

Wrong Number

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If I am too quick or careless, I find I have rung the wrong number. Maybe the number I have used is badly written or I’ve even been given an incorrect one. At other times when I’m making a call to a large company I have to pass through several stages, pressing numbers 1, 2 or 3 to get to the right department. Sometimes the wait is very long and I wander round the house holding the phone to one ear and using the other hand to do a few jobs to save time. Making connections on the phone can be stressful and time-consuming.

How different are our calls to God. There are no wrong numbers, pressing several numbers or waiting a long time. Our calls to God are answered instantly , in fact God is waiting to hear from us. We know from experience that the answers may be yes, no, or not yet, but there will always be a reply. We also know that throughout it all, God is working for the best for us, unlike some companies.

‘You will call me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.’ Jeremiah 29:12

An Amazing Book

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So often the true stories of the Bible are more exciting than any novel we can ever read. The whole book is a story of God’s faithfulness and mans waywardness. We find Moses leading a whole nation out into the desert, where having escaped Pharaoh’s army in a miraculous way, they face starvation.Their ever-faithful God provides manna and quail which is further evidence of His love and care. Then when Moses is with God receiving the Ten Commandments, the people believe Moses has deserted them and make the Golden Calf.

Their faithlessness does not diminish as they approach the Promised Land. In spite of the beautiful branch of grapes on their shoulders, ten of the spies declare the land undefeatable and as punishment they spend another 40 years wandering in the wilderness and a failure to enter the Promised Land which God had promised them. They even had a change of heart and tried to conquer the land without God’s blessing. When they were struck down with the plague I wonder if it was a pandemic. Also I wonder how they would have felt waiting for the last dissenter to die before they could enter the land.

Time and time again the Israelites forgot God’s promises, His love and His care. I wonder if that has a familiar ring to it today.

29th February

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The last time we had a 29th of February was four years ago in 2020. Looking back through my diary, the world was a completely different place. The first lockdown started during that March and we had no idea what we were in for. I my case it meant staying at home a great deal and my diary only records that I went for a walk, day after day, after day. I wasn’t allowed to go shopping myself but kind members from the church shopped for me, left it on my doorstep and then I left the money in the same pace for them to correct. I didn’t record anything I went to because there was nothing to go to.

Every country suffered, every economy suffered, people’s mental health suffered. Economies are still suffering and people are still suffering mental health problems. I now ask what we have learned during that four years? During the centuries there have always been pandemics. They are an opportunity to learn that God is in control. Although it is difficult to square all this with God’s love and protection, so many of the world’s troubles are brought on ourselves.

What of the next four years? The year 2028 will give us another February with 29 days. Are there things we need to learn as a nation, are there things we need to learn as individuals. The signs of God’s power are all around us, we just need to heed them.

Only One Action

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Just a single action can alter the course of a nation. When the brothers of Joseph decided to sell him to the Midianite traders they thought they were only getting rid of a troublesome brother. But their actions would cause the change of direction for the whole Israelite nation that would last for years. They hadn’t taken God into account as their actions started a chain of events that were earth shattering.

Joseph was then passed around like a parcel but God was in it all. We read in Jeremiah ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.’ From being a hostage with the Midianites he was sold to be a slave to Potiphar. By being the best that he could be he rose to a good position in Potiphar’s household, was then wrongly accused by the man’s wife and sent to prison. Then through his fame in interpreting dreams he arrived in Pharaoh’s employ and finally saved his nation from starvation, where he eventually was joined by his brothers and father.

Did the brothers of Joseph ever realise the chain of events they had put into place by their one action? This story is real proof that God can turn a bad situation into a good one. God’s plans never fail.

Words of Love

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‘Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.’ Proverbs 16:24

We all know that once words are spoken they can’t be taken back; we tell children that careless words are like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. (though one resourceful child managed to get some of the paste back in the tube when I was working with the children, which I think somewhat ruined the moral of the illustration)

In another place in Proverbs we read that a soft answer turns away wrath. It is all too easy to speak hastily, or in anger with complete disregard for the hearers. I can still remember the unkind words spoken to me as a child and can hardly recall the kind and complimentary ones. They were probably equal in number but my remembrance is evidence that unkind words hurt. It is no more effort to be complimentary than it is to be unkind and it is worth it to see the smile on the other persons face. Kind words and an assurance of God’s love are invaluable gifts to give.

Caiaphas

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There were a number of people allowed to take part in the Jesus story leading up to the crucifixion, people who thought they were making their own decisions but actually were putty in the hand of God. For prophecy to be fulfilled Jesus had to be crucified but woe to those who were chosen to be the actors in the story. Caiaphas was one of these people.

He had gained his position by cosying up to Caesar. With Jesus standing as a captive before him he was consumed with fear. Not fear of Jesus though in the long run he had every reason to be fearful of Him. Caiaphas was afraid of being thrown out of office, losing face with his people or worse still losing face with the Romans as a whole

Caiaphas had no excuse to doubt the sovereignty of Jesus ‘Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One,’ he asked.

Jesus replied, ‘I am.’

You can’t get any clearer confession than that. Caiaphas thought he had so much power, but actually he had no power at all; he was just everyone’s pawn.

No Words

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As soon as I approached my friend, who I will call Hazel, sitting in the corner of the room, I could see that she was very upset about something. I sat down beside her and waited and listened. Soon the story came tumbling out, her hairdresser’s best friend had a daughter who had just committed suicide. She had been an only child and had left two children of her own behind.

What could I say? There were many Christian platitudes that I could have shared. It was time for one of my ‘arrow’ prayers. ‘Lord, what do I say to this unhappy woman?’ i didn’t hear an audible voice from God but I had the overriding impression that He wanted me to say nothing. I obeyed and beyond saying ‘I’m so sorry.’ I didn’t utter another word.

I don’t know whether Hazel actually knew this woman, or whether it was only by association, but she was grieving. I sat with her for a long time. There would be other times to witness to my faith, but this was not one of them. My job was my silence and my private prayer.