kindness

‘If you’ve had a kindness shown, pass it on.’ I’m not quite sure where that phrase came from but my mother was always quoting it to me. Matthew says the same thing in his gospel ‘So in everything do to others what you would have them do to you.’ Matthew 7:12 In our me, me, me society we sometimes forget this attitude.

As a rule of thumb I always try to leave people happier after an encounter with me. It is not as simple as it sounds What about the driver who cuts me up and then hoots at me as if I’m in the wrong? Kindness doesn’t always work . What about my neighbour who complains about the rubbish that is blown into her garden when it is not me who has dropped any rubbish? I don ‘t have any control over the wind.

I’m saddened by the fact that people have less kindness since the pandemic. I go out of my way to speak to shop-keepers and smile at strangers. One day I was reflecting on my interaction with four shop-keepers whose shops I had visited in one day. On each occasion I had had a little laugh with the people involved and temporarily made them feel happier. I had been able to pass on kindness to others.

How sensitive are we to the needs of others? A number of years ago I had a friend, Sally, who appeared very kind and helpful. As I got to know her better I discovered that her kind acts were to impress others. She was always sharing about the good things she had done No helping acts would ever go unnoticed and explained to anyone who would listen. These things would put her in a good light, not necessarily help the person involved.

At the same time I had a friend, Debra, who was quiet and retiring. I knew of the kind things she had done for me but it wasn’t until her funeral that other people shared what she had done for them. So many people had been helped by her in so many ways.

Reflecting about Sally and Debra made me think, do I help on the hospital chaplaincy team because I enjoy it or do I care about the visitors and patients? Is the time spent with the young people at church because I love them and their souls or is it because it is a pleasant way of spending Sunday mornings.? Furthermore, do I let people know what i do and seek recognition? Jesus gave us a cautionary reminder ‘they already have their reward.’ I would rather have crowns to cast at the feet of Jesus.

So often we remember and comment on the times that people have been inconsiderate or unkind to us. We seem to be good at holding grudges. But in actual fact we receive more kindness than we ever care to remember. If we stop to recall the acts of consideration shown towards us, they are probably more than we can count.

Think of the door that was held open for us even when we were slow; or the driver who didn’t cut us up at a roundabout or one who didn’t beat us into a parking space which they might have claimed for their own. Consider the person who sends us an encouraging letter or thanks us in a text.

As a Christian we have a chance to pass these kindnesses on in the name of Christ. It’s just a matter of thinking of others first and not ourselves. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy for Mary and Martha to welcome Jesus, especially if all His friends came along as well. They showed kindness out of love.